Crisco: and the uses thereof JosefMick Slash
by Emerald72
Summary: Post 80's Freshie Party. Mick finds Crisco in Josef's cupboard and wonders what it's for...Josef shows him. Josef/Mick Slash - male/male pairings STRICTLY Mature Audiences Only. Please read the warning.


Title: Crisco: and the uses thereof

Rating: Definitely NC17 for highly explicit sexual content

Pairing: Mick/Josef

**Warning: Contains a description of Anal Fisting**

Disclaimer: All publically recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: A one shot piece I was sort of half requested half challenged to write. Mick/Josef at Josef's place after their "80's" night out, Mick finds Crisco in Josef's cupboard and proceeds to give Mick a practical demonstration.

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"AND I'M HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF  
STRADDLE THE LINE  
IN DISCORD AND RHYME  
I'M ON THE HUNT I'M AFTER YOU"

Mick was singing on his top note, and very much off key, as he staggered into Josef's apartment; drunk from the night's revelries and too much wine.

"Having fun?" Josef asked in distinctly amused tones, then dropped his voice to a more seductive level "So, did you enjoy the Red?"

"The Red?" Mick waved his hands in an extravagant gesture, before flopping down on Josef's expensive leather couch and declaring, "Was delicious."

"Got anything to drink around here? I'm parched." Mick asked then, clicking his tongue to indicate his need for liquid refreshment.

"Cupboard." Josef waved a dismissive hand towards the Kitchen and then watched as Mick opened a door at random.

"Josef?" Mick's confusion was evident as he displayed the tin he had just come across. "Why do you have Crisco in the cupboard?"

"Because some of my partners happen to like that sort of thing, Mick" Josef replied, as if it should be plainly obvious to Mick why he had found Crisco in the cupboard in the first place and exactly what it was used for.

"What? Cooking?" Mick furrowed his brow.

"No, not cooking, Mick" Josef shook his head and rolled his eyes, raising one hand and closing it into a fist as he gave Mick a pointed look.

"Oh...OH" Mick stared, wide eyed, at the tin in his hand. Looking at his own hand, he formed a fist and then glanced back at the tin of Crisco; trying to work out the logistics of what he had just been told.

"How the hell would you get your entire fist up there? It wouldn't fit, would it?"

".don'...." Josef explained v-e-r-y slowly; as if he were speaking to a small child "There is a technique to it."

"Well excuse me. They didn't exactly teach advanced anal sex practices 101 in high school in the 1930's you know, Josef." Mick huffed and rolled his eyes.

"They didn't even have high school in the 1600's you know, Mick" Josef quipped back, the unspoken words evident in his tone of voice. _"So if I know about that sort of thing and I didn't even go to high school, what's your excuse?" _

Mick ignored Josef's bait and sat down next to him.

"What I don't understand" he began, with genuine curiosity, "is why you would want to put anything up there in the first place?"

"Because men have prostates, Mick."

"And?"

Josef sighed and shook his head.

_"My god I'm actually going to have to explain this to him."_

"Stimulating the male prostate produces extremely pleasurable sensations, to the point where you can achieve orgasm through stimulation of that area alone. Look ma no hands." Josef finished with a cheeky grin.

"Then why don't men like going to the Doctors for 'that' sort of a check-up?" Mick's confusion was still evident.

"Maybe because there's a bit of a difference between being sexually stimulated, either by yourself or with a partner, and having some stranger rectally probing you in a clinical situation." Josef stated matter of fact.

"I must admit I've wondered what it would be like."

Mick's question came unexpected and Josef arched an eyebrow and shot him a sideways look.

"What, being fisted or having a prostate examination?" Josef asked and then added. "Thankfully as a Vampire you'll never have to worry about the latter."

"No you idiot." Mick plucked one of the decor cushions off the couch next to him and smacked Josef in the face with it. "Being with a man."

"You want to know what it's like to have sex with a man?" Josef waited for Mick to nod his agreement and then continued, deciding to be serious for the moment."It's hard to explain, it's just...different."

"Different? How?"

"Different smells, different tastes, different textures, different feelings." Josef shrugged and then snorted a laugh. "Oh and with girls you don't have to worry about getting beard rash."

"You've obviously never been down on a girl with stubble."

Josef arched another eyebrow and tilted his head as if to say, 'good point'.

"What else?" Mick steered the conversation back to their original topic of discussion.

"I don't know exactly?" Josef thought for a moment and then suddenly moved to close the short distance them. "How about I just show you?" he said and then pressed his lips against Mick's.

Josef kept the kiss light at first, teasing, the gentlest of warm, wet pressure.

Mick froze momentarily at the sensation of his best friend's lips pressed against his own, and then allowed himself to relax into the feeling.

"Do that again." Mick said, eyes closed and head rested against the couch, after Josef ended the kiss.

Josef wrapped his arms around Mick's shoulders and pulled him towards him. He drew the kiss out longer this time, making it more forceful, passionate.

When he broke the kiss for the second time, Josef couldn't help but notice the sheen in Mick's eyes and the way his breath seemed to hitch in his throat.

"Do you want me to do that again?" Josef started to ask, but Mick was already reaching for him, his own lips pressing against Josef's, devouring him.

"Whoa. Easy there tiger." Josef laughed and pushed Mick away, trying to catch his breath. "You're not literally meant to suck face". Josef looked at Mick, a knowing smile playing over his face. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Yeah I am actually." Mick's surprised admittance was swallowed by Josef's mouth and tongue seeking his once more, hands gripping the sides of Mick's skull.

Several minutes passed before Josef broke away and pressed his finger to Mick's lips, bending his head to whisper in Mick's ear as he did so,

"Trust me."

Josef pushed Mick onto his back and moved over him, sitting astride his thighs and regarding him with a salacious smile as he unbuttoned Mick's shirt and then removed his own.

_"Oh shit."_ Mick's thoughts raced as he swallowed repeatedly.

"Just relax."

Mick tried to speak but found his words again swallowed up by the sensation of Josef's lips and tongue. Josef shifted his full body weight on top of Mick and deepended the kiss; pausing every now and then to nip playfully at the tender skin just under Mick's ear.

Mick drew his arms around Josef's shoulders and ran his hand over the naked flesh of his back, exploring the planes and angles of his musculature. Josef was right, it was different. The sensations, the feeling, the scent.

Mick gasped as Josef ran his own hands over his naked torso; his fingers hovering lightly over Mick's nipples, tweaking them between his thumb and forefinger. Mick reached up and entwined his fingers through Josef's hair, his desperation evident as he forced him closer.

Josef felt the sudden shift in Mick's body language, the way he had started to grind his hips against his, the muffled snarls that elicited from Mick's lips as he kissed him. He raised himself up onto outstretched and studied Mick's face for a moment, his expression etched in a question.

Mick's mind raced,_ "When did I last take a shower? What underwear am I wearing at the moment? What happens now? What does he expect me to do? What if I don't know what to do? Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck...Oh fuck it!"  
_  
The decision made, Mick reached down and began to work frantically at the various fastenings on his pants, undoing and then removing them. He watched, breath held in anticipation, as Josef hesitated for a second and then followed suit.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Mick's words were breathless, as they came back together again.

Josef broke the embrace, his expression earnest. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

_"Are you fucking kidding me?" _

Mick rolled his eyes in exasperation and then reached up to pull Josef back towards him, feeling his own erection pressing against Josef's. Mick reached between, gripping Josef's cock and beginning to work his hand rapidly over the length of Josef's shaft.

"Slow down." Josef placed his hand over Mick's. "You'll make me come too quickly if you keep that up for much longer"

"So?" Mick smothered Josef's face and neck with rabid kisses.

"So, I want to save that for something else."

Mick felt his own cock twitch in anticipation; losing concentration momentarily as he heard Josef speak those words. Josef used the opportunity to break away and collect the Crisco that Mick had left on the table just in front of them.

Seeing the freaked out expression that fell over Mick's face, Josef quickly moved to reassure him.

"Mick, it's ok" Josef laughed. "I'm not going to take you from zero to a hundred in five seconds flat."

Mick relaxed, letting out the breath he had been holding, and then tensed again, shivering, as Josef dipped two fingers into the thick grease and pressed them against his entrance.

"Mick. Just relax." Josef kissed his way along Mick's neck and then bent his head to Mick's chest, running his tongue over Mick's nipples.

Josef waited for a moment, until he was certain that the initial tension had flown out of Mick's body, and then carefully pushed one finger into him, finding the area he was looking for and pressing against it, gently at first.

Mick arched his back and gasped at the sensation, trying to reach down to take grab hold of his own cock and stroke himself at the same time.

Josef quickly grabbed Mick's hand and held it out the way.

"Don't, I want you to feel this properly."

Josef pushed a second finger into Mick's passage, twisting them inside him and continuing to stroke against Mick's prostate.

"Oh fuck that feels good." Mick's words were an incoherent snarl as new and unfamiliar sensations coursed through his body, his hips undulating in time with the movement of Josef's fingers inside him.

"You look and sound like a man who's just discovered his prostate." Josef gave a satisfied laugh and then removed his fingers, replacing them with his cock as he pressed himself against Mick's passage and slowly entered him.

Josef paused when he reached the hilt, listening to the sound of Mick's breath coming in rapid gasps as he allowed Mick's mind and body to assimilate the sensation of being penetrated by something other than a finger. Then he slowly withdrew his length, before plunging back in. He repeated the action, gradually building the pace of his movements, until he was fucking Mick as hard as Mick's body would allow.

Mick's pants and snarls turned to deep growls of pleasure as he dug his nails into the flesh of Josef's back, revelling in the heady rush of sensations coursing through his body. Josef could feel his own sensations building, spurring him towards the inevitable conclusion. He knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

Josef thrust forward a few more times and then felt the muscles along his entire body tense up as he hovered on the brink of no return. The first waves of orgasm rushed through him and he growled and gripped Mick's shoulders, sinking his fangs deep into the spot just above Mick's collar bone.

Josef heard Mick's moan of frustration as he slipped out of him. Hurriedly pressing two fingers back into Mick's passage, he reached down to take hold of Mick's cock and began to stroke him from base to tip.

"More. Please, I need..." Mick's voice was hushed and urgent and Josef increased the pace of his hand movements over the length of Mick's shaft.

Mick shook his head in frustration and then glanced over at the table, gesturing his head towards the tin of Crisco that stood there.

Josef's eyes followed the line of Mick's gaze. He hesitated for a moment, considering the situation as he realised what Mick was asking.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Do it." Mick's words were a desperate hiss as he grabbed Josef's hand and tried to force more of it inside him.

"Ok, calm down." Josef shook his head and stifled a laugh "We have to take things a little slower than that."

"Don't move." he instructed Mick then and hurriedly swept out of the room, returning a few moments later with a small vial of Amyl Nitrate in his hand. "Just in case we need this."

Mick was beyond the point of caring about things such as the finer details of exactly how this was going to be done.

He watched as Josef moved over to the table and picked up the Crisco, scooping out a generous amount of the heavily viscous substance and working it liberally over his hand and fingers, before spreading an equal amount around Mick's entrance.

Josef worked two fingers easily back into Mick's arse and then carefully slipped in a third. Moving to form his fingers into the shape of an arrow, he slowly added the forth, studying Mick's face and watching for any signs of pain.

Mick began to tremble, almost violently, his teeth chattering as snarling gasps of pleasure emanated from his lips.

Still watching the expression on Mick's face and noting his reactions, Josef gradually began to press forwards, slipping his thumb in behind his fingers as he did so. He felt the muscles of Mick's arse spasm and paused for a moment. Waiting for Mick's body to relax he slowly pushed his hand the rest of the way in and then carefully formed his fingers into the shape of a fist.

"Oh, fucking, GOD." Mick's spontaneous cry was near incoherent, as Josef started to slowly twist and turn his fist inside him; filling him, figuratively and literally, with sensations he hadn't thought possible.

Still working his fist inside Mick's arse, Josef reclined beside him on the couch and drew an arm around Mick's shoulders, listening as Mick's vocalisations of pleasure became a continual, delirious, chant. Lifting Mick slightly, Josef held him close and then watched as Mick reached down and began to work his hand over the length of his own cock.

Mick buried his head into Josef's shoulder and near sobbed with pleasure; the motion of his hand gradually becoming more and more frenetic.

Moments later, Josef felt Mick's body tense. Mick gasped and then held his breath in anticipation. Time seemed to stand still as he hung suspended in space and then the earth was rushing up to meet him and he was falling into oblivion.

An ear splitting, velociraptor roar of release erupted from Mick's mouth, as the first waves of orgasm crashed over him and he sank his fangs, hard, into Josef's neck. Josef wrapped his arm tighter around Mick's shoulder and held onto him as Mick near convulsed with every pulsation, his fluid flowing out of him over his hand.

Waiting until Mick was finally spent, Josef carefully removed his fist from Mick's arse, slowly reversing process from before, and laid Mick back down on the couch.

"I bet you're never going to look at Crisco the same way again. Ever." Josef grinned at Mick wickedly, after he had given Mick sufficient time to recover his senses.

"_That's_ for _damn_ sure." Mick blurted, as he looked at Josef and they both cracked up laughing.


End file.
